Peyton's Walk
by Falconwolf3
Summary: Peyton has to discover who she is, by going to where her mom grew up. Read and Review!COMPLETED!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of One Tree Hill**

**This is songfic about Peyton. She has gone through a lot this year, and this story come to life while talking with my friend Mari, and how cool it would be to see where my mother grew up, kinda walk in her steps in away. So this goes out to Mari(Goldstranger) and my mom! Also to Mari's mom(thanks for raising my best friend! You did a fabulous job!)**

**A/N: This is centrally Peyton, so while I will mention others, I won't move away from Peyton, this is her story. Timeline: Jake is still gone, Peyton works at Tric. And what I write, changes the night she went to Rick, well you will see.**

**Chapter 1: Dear Mom**

Peyton lays on her bed, on her stomach, writing in her journal. It was the journal she used for her most troubling moments, and she was having more than her fair share of those lately. This was the very journal given to her by her mother, so instead of the traditional "Dear Diary," entries, she chose to write to her mom instead, it was kinda like talking to her.

_Dear Mom,_

_I got suspended from school today, but than, I guess you already know that, don't you? I hope I made you proud. I wish you were here, I could really use someone to talk to. _

_My friends all have their own lives, and I don't want to burden them with my problems. At school I am accused of being a lesbian, and I'm not! Yet again, you know that._

_Anna turned her back on me, and then apologized for it, but it was too late, the damage to me had been done. I tried to talk to Brooke, but Felix was there, so I left. _

_Lucas reached out to me, he reminded me of how he was last year, while I was still dating Nathan, he had been this great guy, that I wanted. But I didn't admit that I wanted him until he was dating Brooke. I made a real mess of things mom._

_I tried to moved on though with Jake, and fell in love with him and his little girl Jennie. But he is gone now, and I have to let him go._

_Mom, I need you more than ever and you aren't here. Sometimes I get mad at you cause you died and left me alone in this horrible world. The only good thing in my life right now, is working at Tric with Karen. Music is my life mom, sometimes a song can just touch my soul. It is those times that I feel you are near me._

_I know you saw me try snorting coke about a month ago. I haven't tried it since, and try hard to fight the urges, but it is hard. But I want to make you proud of me. But you probably already know, that I called Rick a half hour ago. I'm supposed to meet him in an hour, I'm so sorry for what I am about to do, please forgive me mom._

Peyton closes her journal, and wipes away a tear running down her face. She rolls over onto her back and stares at the ceiling.

But as if her mom hadanswered her, she felt calmer. She still needed someone to talk to though, and maybe that someone could change her mind. And then she remembered someone had said she could call and talk anytime she needed to.

She reached over and picked up her cellphone. She dialed the number and prayed someone would answer.

"Hello?" said the woman's voice.

"Hi, Karen, it's me Peyton."

"Oh, hey, is everything alright?"

"Not really, I could really use somebody to talk to. And you said I could talk to you anytime, and ..."

"Peyton," Karen butted in, " How about you come on over, I just made a fresh batch of cookies, we can talk while we eat."

"Sounds great. Be there in about 10 minutes."

"Great, I'll turn the porch light on for you."

"Thanks."

**Alright I know it was short, but it's a start. My next few chapters will be longer I promise!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Do not own One Tree Hill. **

**A/N: I don't know about Karen's parents, so I made the part up(as far as I know) about her mom. Trying to make a connection with Peyton, besides just her dad, lol.**

**Chapter 2: Lows and Highs**

Peyton pulls up in front of Karen's house. The porch light was on, just like Karen said it would be. Peyton turned off the car radio, it was playing a song that hit way to close to home. '_So much for music being my friend.'_

Peyton gets out of her car and begins the short walk up to the house. She walked up the steps to the porch and rang the door bell. After a few seconds, Karen came to the door, "Peyton! Come on in, can you close the door behind you, I have a batch of cookies to get out of the oven before they burn," she says as she heads to the kitchen.

"Oh yeah sure," answers Peyton as she quickly closes the door, and turns to follow after Karen. When she reaches the kitchen, she asks, " Is there anything I can do to help?"

"As a matter-of-fact, there is. Can you continue mixing the stuff right there to make more cookies, please. The cookbook is on the counter," she says turning to get the batch of cookies out of the oven and placing it on top of the oven. She started taking the freshly cooked cookies off the pan and placing them on a wire rack to let the cookies cool.

"Sounds great, haven't made cookies in along time."

"How long as it been?"

"Since I was a little girl. My mom taught me, though to be honest, I was in it for the raw cookie dough," laughed Peyton.

"Most kids are, I know I was," laughed Karen, "When Lucas was 6, I tried to teach him to make chocolate chip cookies. I think it took 7 baths to get him clean again."

Peyton busted out laughing, it was hard to picture Lucas has anything other than who he was now, "Would love to see a picture of that," she joked.

"Well I have one, hold on, be right back."

Within five minutes, Karen was back with a photo album. She was flipping through it when she paused suddenly. Peyton glanced up from the cookbook, just in time to see the look of pain on Karen's face. "Karen? What's wrong?"

"I had forgotten I had this picture," she said as she laid the photo album on the counter by the cookbook, where Peyton could see it. The picture was of a woman about the age of 38, holding a boy about the age of 5. "This is my mother with Lucas. She died a year after this picture was taken. Car accident, she was hit by a drunk driver."

"Oh I am sorry Karen, she's beautiful."

"Yeah, she was. Inside and out. I wanted to be just like her."

"Well I don't know what she was like, but I think your a pretty great person."

"Thanks," she smiled as she continued to flip through the photo album, "Here it is, the photo of Lucas covered in cookie dough."

Peyton glanced over, she could hardly believe her eyes. Sure enough Lucas had cookie dough all over his hands, in his hair, around his mouth, and all over the front of his white T-shirt. Peyton couldn't help but laugh, "Would you mind if I borrow this? Yearbook committee would love that."

"Sure you can, Lucas scanned all my photos into the computer last year, so you can keep it if you want."

"Thanks, you know Haley is trying to figure out a way to get a photo of Nathan from when he was a kid from Deb, you know for the yearbook, and just to have it, but I think I might have a better chance of getting it, seeing as how Deb is pissed at Haley."

"Yeah I know, I'll see if I can get the photo from Deb for Haley. But I have a feeling the only photos ever taken of Nathan, were with him and something to do with a basketball."

"Yeah, your probably right. He never had a chance at anything else. You gave Lucas more of a life than Nathan ever got. I'm sorry I didn't mean to say that."

"No problem, actually it was hard raising Lucas, didn't have the money or the father I thought he needed, but he had Keith. And money apparently doesn't buy everything."

"That is so true. Doesn't buy happiness, or great parents."

"Have a seat, I'll get us some milk to go with our cookies."

"Ok, let me place this dough on a cookie sheet first, I mean if you don't mind, I mean? After all, this is your kitchen."

"No I don't mind at all, kind of fun having a girl in the kitchen besides myself."

"I wonder if Lucas realizes how lucky he is to have such a cool mom."

"I am sure he does," laughs Karen. "Especially when I am nagging him."

Peyton laughs as she places the cookies on the two cookie sheets, and places them both in the oven, and sits down next to Karen at the dinner table, and reaches for a cookie, and begins eating with Karen, a few minutes pass without a word being spoken between them, when Peyton breaks the silence, "Thanks for everything Karen."

"Your welcome, you know even though me and your dad are no longer seeing each other, doesn't mean we can't still be friends."

"Yeah I know, but I hate admitting I need help."

"We all do, but when we find the courage to ask, it makes us feel better. Sometimes it makes us feel whole again."

"Good to hear, cause I feel pretty broken right now."

"Well, let's do something about that."

**Alright that's it for now, how am I doing so far, tell me by leaving a review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill or any of it's characters. **

**Thanks for the reviews, they mean everything to me with this story. This is my first time trying something sentimental and heart-warming so I need the encouragement, so if you like what you are seeing let me know by taking a second to leave me a review, it doesn't take a long time, less than a minute. So read and review.**

**Chapter 3: Someone Else's Life**

Peyton put her head in her hands, "It's just so much is going on in my life right now. Jake left and took Jennie. Brooke and everyone else has a life, that I don't fit in anymore. I don't know if you know this or not, but there is a rumor going around at school that I am a lesbian.

"A what? Peyton are you? I mean if you are, that's fine with me." said Karen.

"No I'm not! I'm not, I swear. Wait do I act like I am?"

"Peyton I don't think there are any signs that someone's homosexual. There are some dead giveaways granted, but Peyton you can't let what others think about affect how you feel about yourself."

"I know, but it's hard, But I laid it all on the line today at school, got suspended but..."

"What did you do?"

"Painted the word DYKE on my shirt, but the reason I got suspended was because I refused to take it off. And when I did it was to throw it in the assistant principals face, and walk out with my head held high."

"Well that's telling them," joked Karen, "But I can't say I am shocked, you are a very strong minded person. Unwilling to change your beliefs to fit into a cookie cutter mold."

"Thanks, I don't know how to explain it. I just want to be me, not someone else."

"Peyton, don't let them take that away from you. Do let them steal who you are. Because there is nothing wrong with you."

"I will try, but sometimes it's like I am walking through someone else's life, just waiting for mind to begin."

"Peyton, you can't go through life like that. If you wait to long Peyton, you will lose your chance."

"I know, that why I have been thinking. I have an idea about something I would like to do."

"That is?"

"I want to go to where my mother grew up. My dad owns the place, did he tell you that?"

"No, he didn't, that is amazing. So you think going to where she grew up will help you somehow?"

"Yeah, I mean don't know, it might. I just need to do this, Karen."

"Is it near? I mean without driving distance?"

"Yeah, about 15 miles outside of One Tree Hill, why?"

"When do you want to do this?"

"Was thinking about going there tonight. But my plans kinda changed. Not sure when I will get another chance to do it."

"Need some company, moral support or something?"

"Are you serious? Yea, I would love company. Thank you so much." Peyton couldn't believe her ears. _This might be my last chance, Rick will have to wait._

"Your welcome, now help me put these cookies up and I will leave a note for Lucas."

"Won't he worry about you being out so late?"

"No, I'll just leave him a note, tell him not to wait up, and pretend to be surprised when I come home to find him at the table looking at me, like he is the parent and I am the soon-to-be grounded child."

"Why do I think you two have done this before?"

"Cause we have."

**I know it's short, but I will more than make up for in the the next and final chapter. Review please!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: see other chapters...**

**Thank you all so much, love these reviews, please keep them coming. And just a note, in case you the reader is reading this and happens to be months or years from now, please go ahead and leave me a review, I never get mad seeing a review,lol.**

**Chapter 4: Her Footsteps.**

Karen and Peyton pulled up in front of the medium-sized white house with black trim. The street was lit up with street-lamps. But it did nothing to shed light on the house. Karen glanced over at Peyton who was in the passenger seat, "Are you ready for this?"

"As ready as I will ever be. According to my dad, there is electricity."

"You talked to your dad about coming up here?"

"Yeah, he said he couldn't understand why I would wanted to do this, but he said if it helped me, then it was worth it."

"I agree with the first part. But I actually understand your need to this too."

"Thanks. Alright let's go."

Karen and Peyton both opened their car doors and got out of the car. They slowly walked up the pathway to the house. They walked up the steps. Karen stopped and said, "Peyton, I think you need a few moments alone in there without me. Let it just be you and your mom."

"Alright, I'll come back and get you when I am ready."

"I'll be here on the porch."

"I won't be long."

"Take all the time you need."

"Thanks," said Peyton as she inserted the key into the hole. She turned the knob and pushed open the door. She flipped on the lights and what she saw took her breathe away. According to her dad nothing had been changed since her grandparents died, so everything would be the same as it was when her mom lived there. But she could tell the photos hanging up were new.

Photos of her mom hung on the wall. A white baby grand piano in the corner of the living room, with a bouquet of roses atop the piano. There was a beautiful white sofa with matching love seat and two white recliners.

As Peyton moved further into the room she noticed a fireplace. In front of it laid a white faux fur rug. It was so warm and inviting, even though the fireplace wasn't lit. She closed her eyes, scenes floating in her head, _A young girl, age 5 running and playing during Christmas time. That same little girl, age 8, playing with her first pet, a golden retriever puppy named Shadow._

She walked into the kitchen and noticed how everything seemed in place. It still had the hint of cinnamon in the air, her mom's favorite. And again in her mind, she could see, _that same little girl, this time age 12, working side by side with her mother making cookies._

Peyton turned to walk out of the kitchen, and she glanced around and noticed photos on the mantle on the fireplace. She made a mental note to look at them before she left. She glanced to her right, and saw the stairs, and after a deep breathe, she began the walk up them.

When she got to the top, she turned to her right and walked down the hall, turning into the first room she came to. It had posters of rock stars from the 60's in it, and she instantly knew she was standing in her mom's old room.

In her mind, yet again, she could see, _the same little girl, age 14 this time, laying on her bed crying cause she had gotten her hurt broken by some boy at school._

Peyton slightly turned in the doorway, and saw in her mind, _A woman about the age of 38, coming in the room, and sitting down on the bed next to the crying girl, placing her left hand on the girl's back and gently rubbing, she said, "Honey, I am so sorry you are hurting right now, but you will live, he isn't the only boy out there. There will be others."_

"_No there won't mom, he was it, he was the one I wanted for all time. I will die alone!" wept the girl uncontrollably._

Peyton smiled at that comment, as the images went away, "Shows what you knew mom," she said out loud. She walked over to the bed and sat down and laid back, placing her head on the pillow. It still smelled like her mom, with a strong scent of Jasmine. Her mom's favorite perfume.

She sat back up, and glanced around the room, and for one last time, she closed her eyes, and one more time she saw _the little girl, now a young lady the age of 21, wearing a gorgeous white gown and a veil. She looked so happy, the boy from her past who broke her heart, a long faded memory, for today she was to get married to Larry Sawyer._

Peyton opened her eyes, only to find tears filling up in them, and running down her cheek. In the course of a half-hour, she had mentally relived her mother's life in this house. She had walked a little bit in her mother's footsteps, and felt stronger because of it.

She stood and glanced around one last time and walked out of the room wiping her eyes. She walked down the stairs and headed for the door. She opened it to find Karen sitting on the porch swing, "Karen."

"Oh, your back." she said with a smile as she stood and walked over to Peyton, placing her hand on Peyton's shoulder.

"Yea, there is something I want to share with you."

"Alright, lead the way," she said as she followed Peyton into the house, where she found herself standing in a very beautiful living room, "Wow, this place is beautiful Peyton."

"Yeah it is. The fresh flowers, I think are from my dad. Maybe he understood more than he thought. Anyway, my mom used to play the piano, she was great too."

"I seem to remember Larry...your dad saying something about that."

Peyton walked over to the fireplace and took a photo off the mantle, "This is my mom," she said handing it to Karen.

"Oh my, she's gorgeous Peyton, know I know why your so beautiful, you take after her."

"Thanks. You know when I started looking around tonight, I imagined my mom growing up here, her first pet, first heartbreak, the day she came to get ready to marry my dad. I suddenly realized something, her life wasn't easy, her dad, my grandpa Bradley, had to get 3 jobs to buy my mother that piano. My grandmother Julia worked as a dressmaker by day, dishwasher at night, just to afford everything I take for granted."

"That's a big step. Your maturing."

"Yeah, do you know my mother was accepted to Juilliard?"

"No I didn't."

"Well she was, and she married my dad, and left for Juilliard, and never came back to this house again. She grew into a world class performer."

"Wow, I had no idea."

"Me either, till she told me when I was younger, that she gave it all up to be a mother, my mother."

"Mother's do things like that."

"Yeah I know. I wanted to be that for Jennie, but it didn't work out."

"Peyton, your going to be a great mother, when it's time."

"Thanks, and thanks for tonight. I feel a lot better."

"Well that's great."

"You know before I came here tonight, I felt alone, scared, and helpless. Like no one had ever been through as much pain as me."

"What changed?"

"Me." said Peyton as Karen hugged her tight. The tears started flowing, streaming down her face. The very tears that threatened to fall for the last month was now coming down like rain. Karen held Peyton until the tears subsided. Karen knew there was nothing she could say, right now what Peyton needed was to let it all out. Peyton still wrapped in Karen's loving arms, broke the silence, "Karen?"

"Yeah sweetheart," answered Karen as she loosened her hold on Peyton, and Peyton pulled back, wiping her face, "Thanks for tonight, thanks for being here."

"Your welcome, but I was only standing in for your mom."

"And you did a great job. I was wondering, have you ever thought of going to the house where your mother grew up?"

"Lucas didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"I live in the same house my mother grew up in. You know there is a piece of history in my kitchen you might, after tonight, understand."

"Really?"

"Yeah, there is a door frame, the one that goes into my kitchen, I'll show it to you next time your at my house. It is where my grandmother measured my mother, and my mother measured me at that same door frame, and I measure my son."

"Wow, that is so amazing, so you walk in her steps everyday."

"Yeah I do, and you walk in yours. Even when you are not here, in this house. You never know where you are going, may very well be the very place where your mother, has already been."

"Your right, and I will remember that. I don't know how to explain it, but I feel like everything is going to be alright."

"That's great Peyton."

"And you know what?"

"What?"

"I am going to be alright too!"

Peyton walks into her room, and notices her answering machine blinking, she presses the button to playback the messages. She had one from Brooke, apologizing for that night, not being there for her. One from Anna, apologizing yet again for hurting her. And one from Rick, asking her where she was at, "You call me remember? Where are you? Call me when you get this!"

Peyton sat on her bed, and remembered that before she left to got o Karen's, she had called Rick, she needed a fix. She reached for her phone, and dialed the number. "Hello?"

"Hey Rick, it's Peyton."

"Where have you been? I have been standing here for hours."

"I'm sorry, I changed my mind, I don't need the drugs anymore. And if you ever bring drugs into Tric again, I will call the cops." she blurted before she lost her nerve.

"I wonder what your boss would say if she found out about your drug use, blondie."

"She already knows, I told her tonight. I don't ever want to see you again, do you understand?"

"Your making a big mistake."

"No I already made it, this is me fixing the mistake. Goodbye Rick."

"Yeah whatever."

Peyton hung up the phone, and laid back in her bed. For the first time in months, she felt like she finally had control in her life. And that was more important to her than anything else. She was going to be alright.

**THE END!**

**How was it, this was my favorite chapter, because I went a lot deeper into emotions than ever before in my writing. I hope you liked it, and I have more OTH stories, if your interested, here on So feel free to check them out.**

**I also have another fanfic started here on Haley and Nathan central, dealing with someone trying to break them up, and you wouldn't believe who,lol. (And no it isn't Dan or Deb,lol)Read it if you have time, please.**


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